Real Name: Wade Wilson
First Appearance: New Mutants 98 (February, 1990)
Powers: Superhuman healing factor, agility, reflexes
Affiliation: X-Force, Agency X, Weapon X, Team Deadpool
Love Interests: Gretchen, Vanessa, Francie
Enemies: Wolverine, Dracula, Evil Deadpool, Thanos, Bad Jokes
Did You Know: Created in the 90’s, Deadpool is a direct rip-off of DC’s Deathstroke, who is conveniently named Slade Wilson.
Before we begin, I find it important to let you know that this bit of history is Rated M. Discretion is advised.
A Little History
So you want to know a little bit about me and where I came from.
Can’t blame you for it, but remember, you wanted to know.
I came from a military family. My father was a military man and must’ve thought that he needed to bring home his work. He was as abusive as shit. He beat me, my mom and me…oh wait a second, I already said that.
I know that we are all responsible for our own actions, but this is my story so I am going to blame my dad. His shit-kickings led me down a path of destruction. I became a typical teenager, rebelling against all forms of authority. Blatantly put, I became a delinquent.
Thankfully, I remained on this path.
I’d like to tell you a story within this story.
One night, a friend and I were out having a drink or two or three at our local bar. My father came looking for me and attempted to end our amazing night. Well, my friend didn’t take too kindly to this and shot him dead, fucking dead.
I consider myself responsible and because of this, I tried to straighten my life. I joined the military, (like my dad) however, unlike my dad, I was kicked out. That’s right bitches, the military couldn’t handle me.
Irony would catch up with me and I would be diagnosed with cancer; fucking cancer.
There is some guy out there named Logan. I had heard of wonderful stories of him and his past and I decided to follow in his footsteps. Someone told me that there was this program out there called Weapon X. When I found it, the leaders of the program told me that they could get rid of my cancer.
So, what did I do?
I entered into the program and during my time, I underwent a shit load of procedures that would allow me to recreate the healing abilities of this guy Logan.
Believe it or not, this is where things went bad.
The procedure actually caused my cancer to go into overdrive and literally scarred my face, body, balls and anything else you can think of. Oh, and I was told that it left me with neurological damage, but I’m not too convinced of this.
Can you believe that they labeled me a failed fucking experiment and was placed with all the other rejects?
My favorite person to talk about is me and because of this, I’m going to tell you where I got my badass name from. And no, not that sissy name Wade Wilson. I didn’t have too much choice in that, Marvel was busy ripping off DC for that.
I mean fucking “Deadpool.”
The rejects and I sat around wondering our miserable futures. You see, where we were, the Warden was an asshole and would take us aside for torture. The name came from this: It was a “Who can survive the Deadpool?” type thing.
Once I was selected by the warden, I was tortured and brought to the brink of death. It was at this moment that my ‘healing’ abilities kicked in and I survived. But God Dammit if they didn’t leave my balls scarred. The one thing I was hoping for, didn’t happen. I survived and escaped.
From here, I began my life as a mercenary and the rest, as they say, is history.
Want to hear something ironic?
Because of the mental damage they say I sustained, I have supposedly lost all memories of my past.
- Didn’t you read the above?
Rated M Image courtesy of: http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100225223207/gtawiki/images/1/12/ESRB_M.png