July 24, 2017

Iron Man 55Real Name: Thanos

First Appearance: Iron Man #55 (February, 1973)

Powers: Superhuman Strength, Endurance, Reflexes, and Agility. Projects Blasts of Energy

Affiliation: Eternals

Enemies: Adam Warlock, Avengers and Everybody Else in the Marvel Universe

Love Interests: Mistress Death

Did You Know: Thanos has a brother named Starfox in the Marvel comics.

A Little History

Thanos was born on Titan, one of Saturn’s moons. Unlike most on the planet, he was monstrous and misshapen.

To sum it up, he was Fugly.

Have you ever heard the expression: “Practice makes perfect?”

Thanos is the personification of this.

Through countless hours of meditation and bionic implementation, (which kind of sounds like something that would enlarge a specific part of the male anatomy) his abilities have become superior to that of his people.

Realizing that he was literally the biggest and baddest man around, Thanos’ hunger for conquest grew.  He would employ an army to drop bombs on his planet, destroying it and with one simple act, he became ruler of Titan.

Thanos 2While not quite into necrophilia, Thanos has become obsessed with Death.

This obsession led him to obtain the Cosmic Cube (or the Tesseract if you are familiar with the Marvel Cinematic Universe). Thanos would use the cube in an attempt to obliterate the Universe.

Do you mind if I digress for a moment?

Do you remember an instance where DeSean Jackson was the recipient of a beautiful pass and all he had to do was run the ball into the end and he would have scored? Instead, he celebrated early, dropping the ball before he passed the goal line.

Why do I show you this?

Thanos committed a blunder at this level of stupidity.  Thanos, thinking that the Cube had no power left, discarded it, leaving Mar-Vell (protector of the Universe) to strike it, restoring the Universe to how it was.

Death, not amused by his carelessness, abandoned him like someone with a shameful past.

In an attempt to win back Death, Thanos turned his attention to the Soul Gems (or Infinity Stones in the MCU), which would give him the power to crush EVERYTHING that lives.  He would be successful in his quest and best and take the following Gems from the following Guardians:

  1. Soul Gem – In-Betweener
  2. Power Gem – The Champion
  3. Time Gem – The Gardener
  4. Space Gem – The Runner
  5. Reality Gem – The Collector
  6. Mind Gem – The Grandmaster

Now with the absolute power of the Universe, Thanos would battle the mightiest of the Marvel Universe Heroes.

Thanos 1On the brink of victory, Thanos, not learning from past mistakes, became careless and neglected to notice his niece Nebula as she took the Gauntlet right off of his hand.

With this, she set the Universe back to normal.

In a personal favorite story of mine entitled “Annihilation”Thanos joined forces with Annihilus.  Many questioned this move.  They wondered why Thanos, with all his power, would answer to someone else.  He simply replied that he grew tired of “playing out the same cycles.”

He was charged with the capture of Galactus.  Galactus would be used to power Annihilus’ forces.  Learning that Annihilus had planned for the extinction of both the Universe and the Negative zone, Thanos released Galactus.

Scott’s Notes:

  1. He is Fugly
  2. Drops bombs on his planet
  3. Kind of into Necrophilia but not quite
  4. Obsessed with Death and power
  5. Obliterates the Universe
  6. Gathers Gems to make Infinity Gauntlet
  7. Kills half the Universe
  8. Gets sloppy and loses Gauntlet to Nebula
  9. Captures and releases Galactus

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